Consider today’s issue a “Contrarian Quickie.”
Â
I just finished 7 1/2 hours of driving – taking our oldest son (and a teammate) to multiple soccer games today on opposite sides of the state – while Tylene took our youngest son to an all-day lacrosse tournament.
Â
All through torrential rains and monsoon conditions.
Â
(That photo was a view of the field through the windshield of my truck.)
Â
And it’s now 11:19 PM at night, we just got home, and if I can be real with you for a moment – I’m completely wiped.
Â
But I didn’t want today to go by without fulfilling my commitment – both to you as a reader and to myself – to get this week’s newsletter out to you.
Â
That said…
Â
Today’s brief is going to be… well, a bit briefer than normal :-)
Â
So without further delay, let’s get right to it…
* * *
Earlier this week, I delivered a presentation to Stu & Amy McLaren’s Village Impact Club Group, and during the Q&A, someone asked me a fantastic question about courage.
Â
I had just finished sharing several personal stories:
- The time I left a six-figure job on Wall Street to move to China…
- The time I left a lucrative career in China to start a business selling ebooks online…
- The time I left an eight-figure business in Austin to move across the country with my family and start a farm in Vermont…
Each of these decisions came with risk.
Â
Each of them required me to give up something good in order to go after something great.
Â
And in each case, the people closest to me said the same thing:
Â
“You’re crazy.”
Â
But over the past two decades – I’ve observed something in both myself and the people closest to me when it comes to taking bold action in life:
Â
Most of us aren’t actually afraid of failure. We’re afraid of other people seeing us fail and where that will leave us.
Â
And that’s something very different.
Â
In other words:
Â
When we’re faced with an opportunity to choose the road less traveled – it’s often not fear of losing the life we’ve built – it’s fear of losing the image of the life we’ve built.
Â
The status. The stability. The identity we attach to it all.
Â
It’s the golden handcuffs that keep us tethered to the trappings of a life we’ve come to know.
Â
And maybe even enjoy.
Â
But what I’ve also learned is this:
Â
If you’re ever at a crossroads in life, and the people around you say you’re crazy – you’re probably doing something right.
Â
Let me explain…
* * *
In my 7 1/2 hours of driving today, I was listening to an interview with Brené Brown on the topic of courage and she shared something that reminded me of her book, Dare to Lead – wherein she talks about her “Square Squad”
Â
“Find a one-inch square piece of paper. Write down the names of the people whose opinions actually matter. That’s it. Nobody else gets a vote.”
Â
The idea that courage isn’t just a heroic act, but a deeply personal one – is one of the reasons I’ve become so fascinated by the nature of courage itself.
Â
(And why it’s something I’m exploring in my upcoming book, The Return to Real – with an entire chapter focused on learning how to “Follow the Contrarian Voice of Your Heart” – and having the courage to return to what’s real for you – even if it isn’t popular…)
Â
It’s taken me down a series of twists and turns in my scientific research around topics like:
Â
Where does courage come from?
Â
How much of it is genetic?
Â
Is it something we learn?
Â
And more importantly: can we build it like a muscle?
Â
(The results – which I talk about in the book – are surprising…)
* * *
But in my presentation earlier this week – when I was asked that question about courage…
Â
And I explained my personal observation:
Â
“Most people are afraid to give up good in order to go after great.”
Â
I shared the following story:
Â
When we moved back to the U.S. from China, and Tylene and I donated everything we owned at the time – except for one suitcase each (and a cat that we adopted in Hong Kong…)
Â
We moved into a tiny one bedroom apartment in Brownsville, TX less than a mile from the Mexico border.
Â
We had bars on the windows…
Â
A mattress on the floor…
Â
Two lawn chairs in the living room.
Â
And a $500 laptop, an internet connection, and a library card.
Â
With nothing but a vision and a dream of starting a businesstogether.
Â
And that was it.
Â
It was one of the happiest seasons of our life.
Â
Fast forward 15 years later – when we left Austin for Vermont – we did it again.
Â
(But this time with two kids in tow…)
Â
We roadtripped our way across America.
Â
One suitcase each.
Â
Hopping from Airbnb to Airbnb.
Â
With nothing but a vision and a dream of starting a farmtogether.
Â
And that was it.
Â
And once again, it was one of the happiest seasons of our life.
* * *
When I look back at our “ramen noodle” days – back in that apartment with bars on the windows, for example…
Â
I’m incredibly grateful for the experience.
Â
Because it taught me that even if I lost it all tomorrow…
Â
And all I could afford was a mattress on the floor and lawn chairs in the living room…
Â
Everything would be okay.
Â
And by the way…
Â
If you haven’t had the opportunity to live that season of life?
Â
Here’s a hack for you:
Â
Try it on for size for the next 30 days.
Â
Look for the cheapest, smallest Airbnb you can find.
Â
Pack one suitcase worth of stuff…
Â
Bring your laptop and your library card.
Â
And that’s it.
Â
It’s incredibly liberating to realize how little you need to be happy…
Â
Particularly when you’re pursuing the work your heart is calling you to pursue.
* * *
All to say…
Â
That contrarian voice of your heart?
Â
It may not be the loudest voice.
Â
But it is the most important.
Â
So listen to what it whispers to you.
Â
In fact, when you reflect upon the question:
“What’s one decision you know you need to make – but just need the courage to finally make it?”
What is that voice telling you?
* * *
Okay, I’ll leave you with that for now…
Â
Remember to hug the ones you love…
Â
And until next week,
Â
Ryan
