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“In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back.”Â-Albert Camus
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This was a very vulnerable week for me, personally.
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I started by sharing an embarrassing confession last weekend.
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And then followed that up by sharing an early DEMO of NEW Bucket on Tuesday.
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And then, in an effort toward greater transparency (as uncomfortable as this can be for me sometimes…)
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I posted publicly our results of the software demo webinar (including our actual numbers and my 5 biggest takeaways from a few experiments we tried…)
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I admitted that I didn’t feel ready to reveal our new software.
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Which is still a work in progress…
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But as Reid Hoffman has famously said:
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“If you’re not embarrassed by the first version of your product, you’ve launched too late.”
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And boy this week I felt this tension.
In short:
This was a very vulnerable week.
And what I’ve learned in the last few days about expressing your vulnerability, is that you will get different types of reactions from all sorts of different people that you haven’t heard from for awhile….
1: Most will IGNORE you
2: Some will APPLAUD you
3: And a Few will (try to) EXPLOIT you
For example:
Last weekend I shared an embarrassing confession – that it was the FIRST email I had personally written myself in years, and I wanted to come clean on what our plans are going forward…
The response among the vast majority was to IGNORE…
But a bunch of people reached out to APPLAUD what I had shared… (Thank you :-) )
And a few attempted to use it as an opportunity to EXPLOIT.
Like…
The person who bought (and consumed) a product of ours from years ago, who tried to exploit my email as a way to demand a refund (literally years outside the refund window…)
Or…
The person in Europe who accusing me of being “selfish” for all sorts of reasons – most notably, for not hosting a live event during European business hours…
In short:
People will try to weaponize SHAME and GUILT to coerce you to crumble…
But remind yourself:
When you are *attacked* by someone trying to exploit you:
All of us (including the person sending you that “nasty” note) – we are all just wounded children in adult clothing, doing our best to deal with the crap in our life and the unresolved trauma from our childhood…
And because some people are still early in their journey of coping… or don’t quite yet have the tools to work through those issues…
This can show up as personal attacks directed toward you.
After all, we all have access to the same internet.
Some will use it to CREATE.
Some will use it to COMPLAIN.
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And when we’re vulnerable, some people will mistake that vulnerability for weakness.
And they will try to exploit you.
But in those moments:
Stand tall. And stand strong.
And remind yourself:
In the midst of winter, there lies within you an invincible summer.
You’ve GOT this.
Ryan :-)
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P.S. Tomorrow is my wedding anniversary with Tylene. 18 years married + 4 years dating before that.
More than half my life.
In my darkest of winters, she has been my brightest of summers. By my side, though it all. And for that, I consider myself to be the luckiest guy in the solar system…
