It’s 2025 and I find myself in a place I never would’ve predicted just a few short years ago:
Living in the mountains of Vermont, on a farm, growing and raising much of the food we eat as a family (like this dinner you see here after a long day skiing):
Grass-fed beef raised in our pastures with heritage carrots, potatoes, shallots, and garlic harvested from our garden overwintered in our root cellar, paired with warm, freshly baked sourdough. A meal almost entirely produced from our homestead.
Because it wasn’t that long ago that life was very different.
In fact, eight years ago this month, back in 2017…
Not only were we not raising and growing our own food, we were ordering most of the food we ate as a family through pre-packaged meal delivery services like Factor75 and Freshly.com1 like this email order you see here:
And the irony?
I couldn’t find a single photo of a Freshly meal on my phone from 2017 (I guess I didn’t feel like anything was photo-worthy) and instead I had to pull this screenshot from Google:
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It’s a tale of two wildly contrasting worlds:
One optimized for hyper-efficiency, the other for effort-driven satisfaction.
And yet, as you stuff our face, you feel strangely dissatisfied with life.
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In another world, you grow your own food. You spend hours tending your garden and cooking artisanal meals from scratch. It’s labor-intensive, time-consuming, and wildly inefficient.
And yet, in this life – you feel deeply fulfilled.
But why is this the case?
Why does more work – more struggle – often feel better than…
Convenience?
1 | Why the Struggle is the Solution.
As I’ve been diving deeper into the research for my upcoming book…
I’ve been exploring the Underlying Principles that I believe are central to The Return to Real Movement we started exploring in earnest here in The Digital Contrarian beginning in Issue #028, (and which, for those who are curious, will be one of the central ideas explored in my forthcoming book.)
And one of these principles – is why “The Struggle is the Solution.”
Let me explain…
* * *
In [Issue #028] The Return to Real, we began exploring the following idea:
“In a world filled automation, algorithms, and artificial everything – from the food we eat to the content we consume, there is a growing “Return to Real” movement taking shape in the world right now.”
And we began examining the following question:
“Can you actually build a business and live a life that’s both financially successful and deeply fulfilling by rejecting the digital race to the bottom and embracing what’s real? Or are these goals fundamentally at odds with one another?”
In other words, in this increasingly AI-driven digital world that we find ourselves in:
Can “Return to Real” serve as a viable business strategy to both live authentically AND achieve financial success?
* * *
And one of the biggest objections that naturally (and rightfully) came up around this idea of “Return to Real” as a viable strategy – not just in terms of how to live your life, but how to operate your business…
Is that it takes objectively longer…
And that it is subjectively harder…
But…
As we’ll explore in this issue, there is a biological paradox at work here of which we also need to be mindful:
We think what we crave is ease.
But this ease leaves us unfulfilled.
We aim to avoid hard work, thinking that this will make us happy.
But somehow we’re constantly left feeling empty.
Because as it turns out (as we’ll start to explore in this issue), difficulty is the currency of meaning.
Or in other words…
Doing Hard Things is an essential component to feeling fulfilled.
In fact, this is deeply rooted in our physiology – and the way in which our brain is wired toward reward…
And to understand the reason why this is true, we first need to better understand…
2 | The Neuroscience of Dopamine: The Most Misunderstood Molecule in our Brain.
Most people misunderstand dopamine.
They think of it as the “pleasure chemical,” the thing that makes us feel good when we get what we want.
But in reality, dopamine is not about reward.
Instead, it’s about anticipation.
It’s the neurotransmitter that fuels our motivation to pursue rewards, not the satisfaction we feel when we attain them.
Dr. Anna Lembke, a psychiatrist and addiction expert at Stanford University, has spent years researching dopamine’s role in human behavior.
And in her book Dopamine Nation, Lembke explains how our modern environment has created an overabundance of dopamine triggers, leading to a paradoxical state of dissatisfaction and addiction.
Lembke shared an insight in a recent interview with Steven Bartlett on The Diary of a CEO podcast – which had a major impact on my thinking as I was recently listening to it while exercising, as part of my book research:
We are wired to seek balance between pleasure and pain. When we experience a spike in dopamine – whether from social media, processed food, or easy entertainment – our brain compensates by pushing us in the opposite direction.
This is why too much pleasure can paradoxically lead to discomfort, dissatisfaction, or even depression.
In other words, the real problem is this:
Modern life has made reward too easy to obtain.
When the effort-to-reward ratio is out of balance (in other words, when we receive dopamine hits without meaningful effort) our satisfaction levels plummet.
This is why it feels less fulfilling to…
- Get groceries delivered to your door via Instacart versus growing your own food.
- Click “Buy Now” on Amazon versus hunting for a rare book in a used bookstore.
- Binge-watch Netflix versus going for a hike outdoors in nature.
In each case, the effort-to-reward ratio is vastly different. The brain craves the pursuit, not just the reward.
And when that pursuit is removed?
We feel empty.
So what’s the solution?
3 | Asymmetric Effort & Reward: Why Hard Feels Better Than Easy.
We live in a world of abundance, but our bodies evolved for scarcity.
For millions of years, survival depended on effort: Hunting for food, traveling long distances, enduring harsh conditions, etc. etc.
Everything we desired was hard to obtain, and our brains were wired to reward us for expending energy in the pursuit of these scarce resources.
Like for example these wild strawberries, black currants, and red raspberries, which took hours to forage for in the forest:
Fast forward to today, and that scarcity has disappeared. Food is available on demand. Entertainment is endless. Comfort is everywhere. But our brains and bodies haven’t caught up to this new reality.
We were designed to chase what is scarce, yet we now live in a world where everything is abundant.
The result?
A deep sense of emptiness and dissatisfaction.
* * *
The core insight here is the following:
There is an asymmetry between effort and reward, and the brain is wired to crave the struggle as much as the arrival.
In other words:
It’s the level of effort (and not just the quality of the reward) that activates the dopamine system.
And when the gap between effort and reward becomes too narrow, the experience feels hollow. Most modern “convenience” optimizes reward and minimizes effort – which ironically, leaves us dissatisfied.
(This is why chasing instant gratification – whether it’s social media validation, fast food, or other quick-fix solutions – often leads to a dopamine crash rather than sustained fulfillment…)
In contrast, Slow Living and Deep Work that feels meaningful, typically has a high effort-to-reward ratio.
For example:
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Making sourdough bread from scratch vs. buying a pre-packaged loaf from the store…
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Completing hard physical work in the garden vs. watching videos of Instagram gardens on your phone…
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Or writing a weekly email newsletter by hand yourself vs. copy / pasting from Claude AI or ChatGPT…
We think we want an easy life, but what we actually crave is earned reward.
This ties into the ancient Stoic philosophy popularized by Ryan Holiday in The Obstacle is the Way, where struggle is not an impediment to success but the very means through which we find purpose, meaning, and growth.
Holiday draws on Stoic philosophy to argue that embracing adversity sharpens us, and while his work focuses primarily on mindset, the same principle applies biologically: humans need friction to thrive.
The lesson here is that difficulty isn’t something to be avoided – instead, it’s the price of fulfillment.
(And there’s a business opportunity in all of this, which we’ll get to in just a moment.)
But first we need to understand…
4 | The Digital Dilemma: Why We're Often Left Feeling Empty at the End of the Day.
The problem (or at least a problem) with the largely Digital Existence we find ourselves in today, is that it’s full of “cheap dopamine”.
The digital age promises us more freedom, more efficiency, and more connection. But in reality, it has left the majority of us feeling more disconnected, disengaged, and disillusioned.
When life is mediated through screens and apps, we lose the tangible experiences that bring real joy:
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Social Media gives us “likes” without real, authentic social bonds.
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AI content gives us information without the struggle of writing and carefully thinking through our ideas.
This is why we often feel so empty – even as technology delivers on its promises to make life “easier”.
This is why people are craving analog, real-world experiences more than ever as we explored extensively in Going Analog: The Contrarian Path to Thriving in this New Digital Era.
We see it in everything from…
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The resurgence of vinyl records and film photography (particularly true among Gen Z…)
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The boom in DIY culture, homesteading, and craft hobbies (particularly true among Millenials…)
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The rise of local, experiential businesses over mass-produced services (particluarly true among Gen X and Baby Boomers…)
People are realizing that digital convenience comes at a cost – and the antidote isn’t more automation, more tech, or more AI…
It’s more reality.
(And what we’re seeing, is that this Return to Real is a cultural movement that transcends generations… Not just limited to the old or young.)
In other words, The Return to Real isn’t about nostalgia – a romanticized version of the past viewed through rose-colored glasses…
Instead, it’s an antidote to the onslaught of dopamine imbalance our brains are faced with on a daily basis.
5 | How to Reclaim Real Effort & Real Satisfaction
So what can we learn from all of this?
Well, I think one of the most important concepts to be reminded of is:
Our brains do not exist in isolation from our physical bodies.
And while I know this sounds self-evident, it’s not reflected in terms of how we spend our lives if we track our day-to-day life on a minute-by-minute basis.
There’s a reason why physical effort – whether it’s exercise (like tilling the garden), manual labor (like picking berries and fruit), or even play (like swimming in the pond) – feels inherently satisfying.
My youngest son, picking peaches where Tylene grew up in south Texas, at age two (left). And picking wild berries on our farm in Vermont, at age nine (right).
Our bodies are wired for movement, challenge, and interaction with the physical world.
But modern digital life through layers of abstracted reality has engineered physical effort out of existence – especially for those of us who largely make a living in front of a screen.
We drive instead of walk, we sit instead of move, and we consume rather than create.
And when physical effort is missing (or when it plays a secondary role in our daily lives, making its way sparingly here and there) – we suffer.
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So what practical steps can we start taking…. starting today?
Well, there are a few guiding principles that I think can be helpful, as you think about incorporating more of the Return to Real in your daily life:
1: Start thinking about shifting your “Effort-to-Reward Ratio.” In other words, do things that require more effort – but yield deeper satisfaction. This will require making a conscious decision in your life to do fewer things pursued in a deeper way.
2: Choose “Physical over Digital” whenever possible. We explored this in [Issue #020] Going Analog. The Contrarian Path to Thriving in this New Digital Era. Think about ways to engage with your market and clients in the physical world where a screen plays no role.
3: Embrace “Struggle as a Feature vs. Bug.” Remember, as we explored in [Issue #034] How to Become “Antifragile” – remind yourself this shift will require both Courage AND Grit. But you can do hard things. You can. You have. And you will.
Now, with all this being said, the question still remains:
6 | Where's the Business Opportunity in All of This?
At first glance, this conversation about struggle and dopamine might seem disconnected from our recent discussions here in The Digital Contrarian focused on marketing and business.
But for those of us who are digital entrepreneurs, there’s an enormous opportunity here:
We are entering an era where people are beginning to crave more of the friction, challenge, and real-world experiences we’ve been discussing.
For example, my older son and I just signed up to be part of a Father/Son Rite of Passage trip through Front Row Dadswhere we’ll be doing a challenging Grand Canyon hike together later this spring.
BTW – this “product” was 100% sold out in just a matter of days, which underscores the demand for this type of paid experience.
* * *
For the past two decades, businesses have competed on making everything easier.
Faster shipping, seamless digital experiences, one-click everything. But now, the pendulum is swinging back.
People are waking up to the fact that ease doesn’t equal fulfillment – and this is a place where new and exciting “Zig when they Zag” opportunities are beginning to emerge…
There are “digital education” businesses now teaching people the sort of analog “hard skills” I wrote about in Issue #034, like Wild Abundance, which recently just sold out its upcoming Timber Framing Workshop.
There are “coaching” companies pivoting to put “physical challenges” front and center, like 29029, which offers a series of Hiking Challenges, wherein you climb the equivalent elevation of Mt. Everest (29,029 feet) over a 36 hour stretch, by doing multiple summits of a smaller mountain. Each of these challenges have sold out year after year…
So what’s the lesson in all of this?
The businesses that embrace this shift will generate stronger demand, command premium prices and see increased customer loyalty.
Cheap, easy (and easy to replicate) products and services will increasingly become a commodity undercut by AI and automation.
But experiences rooted in real-world effort and transformation?
There is a massive (and growing) market for this.
And the entrepreneurs that understand this Megatrend…
Will be well-positioned for the future.
* * *
Okay, I’ll wrap this one up here, and leave you with that for now…
Have a great rest of your weekend…
Hug the ones you love…
And until next week,
Ryan :-)
P.S. I’m *almost* caught up in replying to the dozens of messages sent in reply to some of the most recent newsletters over the last few weeks…
(Thank you for your patience…)
And now that I’m (mostly) caught up, I’d love to invite you to reply to this message with your biggest thoughts and takeaways from today’s issue…
As I mentioned earlier…
I’m actively writing my forthcoming book, and knowing what thoughts and ideas this issue has sparked for you – is incredibly helpful in shaping the direction of the book.
And as a reader, I value your perspective tremendously.
So if you feel drawn to SHOOT ME AN EMAIL, I’d love to encourage you to do so.
I read each and every email reply…
And today, I’d love to hear from YOU :-)
1 Freshly, the Meal Delivery Service sold to Nestlé in October 2020 for $950M, and a little over 2 years later in January 2023, Nestlé was forced to shut down the acquisition because they ironically couldn’t turn a profit. Turns out, consumer demand for the Return to Real, may be real after all :-)
